Oh, hey. It's been a minute. I've been here living in this cave that from the outside looks like a Hampton Inn in Washington Court House, Ohio.
I'm back from taking the Ohio bar exam, which is a two and a half day marathon of mental pain. I knew I would have to take the Ohio bar when I decided to move back here, but lucky for me I love taking bar exams so this was a piece of cake.
A piece of cake made of self-inflicted mental illness and frosted with regrets.
The depression and anxiety that accompanies bar prep comes in waves.
Wave 1: Everything that I'm studying looks familiar so far, but I have only just started and I have a few big books to cram into my brain. But this is manageable, everything is good.
Wave 2: Ok ok ok this is getting a little overwhelming, but I have to keep it together If I want to have any shot at passing this thing, everything is going to be juuust fine.
Wave 3: WHY EVEN HAVE RULES OF EVIDENCE IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE A THOUSAND EXCEPTIONS?
Wave 4: I think it's time to make peace with the fact that I'm going to fail and that the last three to five years of my life have been a complete waste of time. It's cool. I'll just become a welder. I think I could learn to weld.
Wave 5: The test is a week away and I just came across a legal concept I've never heard of in my life. Time to die, I guess.
The weird thing is that once you sit down to take the test, as a wise supervisor of mine once said, you know more than you thought you did. I have no idea whether I actually passed or failed, but at least it's over with. Again.
To answer some of the frequent questions that I've been getting:
How do you think you did? I think it went fine. I tend to blackout on these tests and I don't remember how it went. I have no idea whether I passed or not.
When do you find out about your results? End of October. If I failed you won't hear about it on this blog but you'll probably be able to hear my sobbing into a pint of ice cream from miles around.
How do you feel now that it's done? Like someone took a corset off my brain and I don't feel like crying all the time.
In conclusion, I now have time to blog again and it feels really good. It will be way less law content again after this post, so that's probably a good thing. Thanks for sticking with me.