From the Midwest, to the east coast, and back again

I Am Not Married

I’ve noticed a strange trend since moving back to Ohio: people here assume I’m married.

It’s not something that comes out of nowhere, they hear I have a significant other who I live with and have been in a relationship with for several years now. But I don’t wear a ring on my left hand and have never once referred to him as my husband because, you know, I’m not married to him.

I guess it’s not an unreasonable assumption, it’s just never one that I ran into in Boston. It was the same living situation there, same relationship, same everything. People on the East Coast are likely to default to the term “boyfriend” or “partner.” People in Ohio seem to jump right to “husband.”

As a quick disclaimer, since there might be those out there thinking, "Wow, she's anti-marriage" or "Wow, she's bitter he hasn't put a ring on it yet, this is what happens when you're a shrill feminist hag" (geez, very hurtful stuff, imaginary people in my head), neither of these things are true. Of all the many things in life and the world that I'm totally on the bitter bus for, being unmarried is not one of them. Marriage is great for the people who want it, but in general it is not something that necessarily appeals to me. And since it's not a priority for me, it's a little confusing for me when people assume that it is.

It's all kind-hearted, of course. This is Ohio, after all. And if I actually did enter an extreme fugue state and get married without realizing it, someone please show me the photos. I'll bet my dress was cute.

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